PhotoCredit: Duke Chronicle
My goal this year is to make 53 sustained life changes. One change a week. I get to overachieve because it’s a leap year with an extra week as a consequence.
Well that was the theory in January. Once February started I felt like one of those wind-up toys that had de-wound itself. The pep was missing from my step.
The first thing we tend to do when we are under-performing is look for someone or something to blame. Often this is ourselves. Conveniently the astrological phenomenon “Mercury in retrograde” has been in effect over the past month. So clearly that’s what I can point to as the problem. It’s not me, it’s the alignment of the planets!
Mercury in retrograde is commonly seen as a great time to reflect, review and plan. As a rebel who is oriented to change, planning and reflection do not come naturally to me. Change is fun and exciting. Discipline is for boring losers.
But over the years I have come to learn that planning, somewhat counter-intuitively, helps me squiggle. Planning is deeply supportive of my rebellion.
I have almost (almost) become disciplined about planning. Each Sunday I review my to do list and determine my Steven Covey big rocks for the coming week. I also set specific goals to work on. This is where I have been adding in my 53 changes. Things like read a book a week, do a daily yoga home-practice, meditate for 20 minutes, do two hours of bookkeeping a week. The bookkeeping one is kicking my butt - especially as I don’t eat sugar anymore. The one way I could guarantee I would get a hated task done was to bribe myself with candy.
As I establish my focus for the week, I also review the prior week. How did I track to my ambition? Did I achieve my priority tasks or did they get lost in the whirlwind of the week? Reviewing and reflecting on the prior week helps me see how to navigate toward my intended outcome.
Here is a Squiggly-Tube on how I do my weekly planning. The video is under five minutes and be sure to watch the outtakes at the end. Rugby has a small cameo and I reveal my stationery obsession.
In trying to understand my #FebruaryFail it’s been very helpful to review my weekly planning for clues. In February I had a lot of travel. That always throws me off. As a consequence I wasn't disciplined with my planning which starts to have a flow-on effect. And then the obvious issue, I am trying to do too much.
When we struggle it’s easy to be super self-critical. Our revision process becomes much more of the “oh my god I’m useless” variety. “FML”, “why do I even bother?”...”might as well give up now”.
Finding strength in the weak moments is game-changing. Every moment that we manage to pull ourselves from the quick-sand of defeat we build resilience. Resilience layers and builds like a muscle, so from each moment of struggle we make ourselves stronger.
Squiggling necessitates that we get things wrong from time to time. The magic lies in curious reflection. Being curious about what is working and what isn’t. Not leaping to judgment or blame. We have to allow a little space for imperfection. Or Mercury in retrograde. Plan to fail.